I'm a rebel, i know; i steal money from my mum and dad's bank account to use on my phone, i go out and party with my friends don't tell my parents where i'm going, i drink, smoke and do drugs even though i'm only 15, i have sex with one of my best friends even though i have guys who want to go out with me.
i'm not a nice person but i don't want to be nice, i'd rather be me and hate life like every other teenager. i'm not happy with my life and i don't plan to be for a while. When my parents ground me i don't talk to them, ignor whatever they say and just sit around doing nothing, they get flustrated and lift the grounding. see, i don't do things cause i can, i do them for reason's.
lying to peole, i do that alot, most of what i say isn't true but people believe me cause they think its true they want it to be true. i told you i was a bad person and i'll carry on being a bad person till i'm free of these people i'm forced to live with cause there the ones who make me a bad person. i use to be nice and sweet and girly. now i'm dark and scary and evil.
i don't like sharing my feeling with people either so people think i'm strong and confident and don't let life effect who i am. They're wrong i'm not, i hide my feelings and every thing i do cause i have to, i had no one to just tell what i feel and think and i've got so use to it even when people ask now i don't wanna share.
This is where the self harming came in, about 4 years ago my life got so bad i just had to hurt myself to control it all. This caused major problems because my mum found out and everything went weird and i had to go see doctors and it was crap. i stopped seeing them, apart from random check ups, cause they realised i wasn't going to tell them anything. i still self harm now when things get bad and today things didnt go very well. you see i have to go on holiday with my parents even though i'll be almost 17 when we go i have to go. that means i miss getting my GCSE exam results on the day they come out and Hetti's birthday party. Life isn't fair i know.