i was a fuck up, i no and i never said goodbye because you just hurt me really badly at the end by just up and leaving. so i guess this is trying to be my offical goodbye. I'm sorry i lied and i'm sorry you payed for it. and i'll still love you forever and always pumpkin. Goodbye x

I had a boyfriend names Aaron Anchers once, he was sweet, caring and did the kiss on the forehead thing. we didn't work out cause of technical things but thats complicated.
He's now going out with my 14 year old cousin, i dont mind much just that i no what he's like and i no what she's like.
Inside i kind of feel like yelling and screaming and hurting me or someone else. but outside i'm sort of calm and ok. i dont understand really but i dont like it. I want them to be happy but i have alot of doubts and i feel like being a bitch so

i dont think they will last longer than a month
i dont think they actually like eachother
i hate that there together
i still hurt from our relationship
she's my cousin its weird
i no i'm gonna hurt myself for this even though i dont really feel much for him anymore though his friends are dicks

I no i havent posted in here in a while but i just didn't want to.

I have many problems in my life, i wont even bother boring you with them all. But two of them are major, One i have mentioned before, I'm a self harmer. For 4 wonderful years this February, and i've tried to stop, i can go months with out thinking about it but somewhere along the road i just drift back to that solution of helping. And i no it will work every time i do it. The other is bulimia, I've battled with this one for only 2 years. i no i'm not as skinny as the other girls and i dont want to be really skinny but i want to be accepted rather than tolerated which is what i feel like i am. I see girls in my school who are as i feel around my size and compare mysel;f to them. My friends are all skinny and they moan about how fat they are, i dont get it, i'd love to be that size rather than the lard i feel. Bulimia hurts, its gross but it gets rid of food and i like to eat food.